I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
kristin has been a bad kristin
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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