between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
