I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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