If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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