You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
