At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I want to be your penis for a week.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
