love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
