We won't sleep together?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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