Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
