so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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