Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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