I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
