Betty ford says i'm here all night
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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