you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
