I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
