soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
