i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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