Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
