I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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