So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
