You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
