i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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