You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
