Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
