you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
