I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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