I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
