You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
