Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
ttyl tear gas
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
