Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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