She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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