He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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