Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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