whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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