this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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