with your own penis?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Randomize
