I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
