I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
