Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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