i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
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