You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
