How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
