I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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