would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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