my mouth tastes like poor choices
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
