Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
