Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
