wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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