so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
