you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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